Invasives removal? Cussing always helps

Some people hunt great deals at the mall. Others go hunting the bars for friends. We know people who hunt deer and eat them. But here at Hilltop House, we hunt the evil sh*t berry bushes (aka “bush honeysuckle“).

Mr. Hilltop and his trusty pickaxe posing with recent "kills" of the non-elusive "bush honeysuckle."

Below is a new target that is starting to grow around a keeper tree. Mr. Hilltop trimmed it back and started digging out the root system over the weekend.

This well-established sh*tberry has branches up to four inches in diameter. Four inches. FOUR INCHES!

Attention all bush honeysuckle:  We will yank you out with our bare hands and burn you to a pulp … er, umm, beat you to ash … no, rip yer leg off and beat you with the bloody stump … uh … well, basically I’m trying to let you know that Mr. Hilltop will put you in the burn barrel after we cut you down and dig you up. You don’t even deserve the inside fireplace. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

A lovely December morning, and Mr. Hilltop is doing his favorite thing -- burning sh*tberry brush. "I like to hear them scream," he says, over the "tssssss" sound of sizzling brush.

Next time: Am I a bad person if I’m more interested in browsing for seeds than finishing the Christmas shopping?

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